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It was a gray, rainy day in Seattle.
But then it usually was. Despite the rain, everyone was skateboarding
along, attending to his or her business. Jodok Robinson was just
such a person. He was heading through the downtown area of town on
his way to his friend's garage for band practice.
Suddenly Jodok was violently pulled out
of the world of his thoughts. There was an eerily glowing light coming
from the space needle building, the town's most recognizable landmark.
The saucer section on top, mistakenly thought to be a mere decorational
observation room for a long time now, lit up the gray sky, turning it electric
orange. Jodok stopped his skateboard in disbelief. Suddenly
the saucer room, still all aglow, began to levitate! It moved through
the sky and began to hover over Jodok, then landed a few sparse feet away
from him. A door appeared in the glowing saucer, and as it opened,
Jodok could see figures beginning to emerge ...and they looked like Elvis!
Jodok could not believe his eyes!
The Elvis creatures marched out of the saucer one by one until a whole
platoon had assembled in the street, all holding what looked like ray guns!
One of the creatures stepped forward, holding some sort of PA device.
"People of Seattle! We have been observing you covertly for a long
time now. We are clones of your King!"
A king? "We don't have a king, man!"
Jodok yelled at the look-alikes.
"You lie!" yelled the head Elvis.
"There was King Elvis Presley, Ruler of all Earth! Our Masters discovered
this by monitoring your primitive broadcasts, all of which referred to
him as the King, regardless of their country of origin!"
This is just getting TOO weird, Jodok thought.
"Our Masters, brilliant alien scientists,
abducted your King and cloned him. We, the Impersonators, all bear
your King's exact DNA! Therefore, WE will become rulers of this planet
in his place, as his de-facto descendants, doing with this world what we
please!" With this, the Impersonators began to fire their weapons
into the assembled crowd, causing those hit to unconsciously slump to the
pavement.
Jodok hopped on his skateboard and got
out of harm's way as quickly as he could.
Nothing could stop the Impersonators: not
the citizens, police, or the military. The US government hid the
takeover of Seattle by hostile aliens from the general public for as long
as it could, but as more and more towns fell to the Impersonators, it could
no longer be kept a secret. Eventually, even Washington, DC itself
fell; the President personally surrendered the nation to the aliens.
Canada was taken over quickly, despite
the valiant efforts of the armed forces and the Mounties. Soon the
entire hemisphere was in the Impersonators' hands.
In a few short months, the entire world
was subject to the Impersonators. They exploited the people and the
Earth's resources, slowly killing the world.
When the Earth was nothing but a besmirched
and largely dead hunk of rock, the Impersonators' Masters came.
"Yes, I definitely think this is an improvement,"
said the head Master, surveying the bare surface of the planet with its
eyestalks. "Now, can you get me a drink with a little umbrella in
it?" And the Master sat back in a deck chair and put up its aching
tentacles.
The dead Earth became a vacation resort
for bug-eyed monsters.
Sure it had been a waste, killing the planet
and its inhabitants. But it was very profitable.
The End
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