Dussel had a life-long dream.  It was a longing that bordered on obsession. Dussel wanted to be an Elvis Impersonator more than anything else.  Sure, it was an odd dream, but then Dussel was an odd little man.

Ever since the first time that he had heard an Elvis song on the radio, Dussel had longed to be like Elvis.  He wanted to be a sequined jumpsuit wearing, hip gyrating superstar.  Dussel knew for a fact that he didn't resemble Elvis in the least, but it did not put a damper on his Elvis impersonating dream.  He longed to quit his job as an accountant to pursue his true calling, but he knew that it was hopeless.  He would never be an Elvis impersonator.  He didn't even have the slightest inkling of an idea of how anyone could become one.

Then Dussel noticed an ad that would forever change his life.  He found it in the March issue of Elvis Magazine.  Dussel could not believe it.  Right there in glorious black and white print on page 42, the words jumped out at him.  "Do you dream of a fabulous career in the Elvis Impersonation Arts but don't know where to go?" it read.  "Look no farther!  Louie's School of Elvis Impersonation in beautiful Extremely Remote Location, Peru is just the place for you!"

Immediately after setting eyes upon the ad, Dussel knew what he must do.  He quit his job at Jodok, Jodok & Jodok.  He emptied his bank account and bought plane tickets.  Just 24 hours later, Dussel was boarding a small plane bound for Remote Location in Peru National Airport.

Appropriately, the in-flight movie was "Blue Hawaii," which happened to be Dussel's favorite Elvis movie.   Oddly, dinner was Spam and Jolt cola.  Dussel wondered just who ran this little airline.

The plane landed at the Remote Location in Peru National Airport.  Dussel found his luggage, and then noticed how small the airport was.  It was the smallest national airport that he had ever seen.  He wondered if the Peruvian government even knew about this place.  But if they didn't, then how could it be called a national airport?  How did the airline have enough money to carry passengers to so many different airports around the world?

Dussel exited the airport and wandered on down the dirt road of the town.  Dussel decided to stop at the first house that he saw to ask directions to the school.  As Dussel walked up the driveway, he began to notice what an odd house it was that he was approaching.  It was a large, spacious, modern home that one would not expect to find in the middle of nowhere.  There was a Harley parked on the lawn. In the backyard, Dussel could see a herd of llamas grazing near a satellite dish.  Dussel reached the door, and rang the doorbell.  The door opened.

Much to Dussel's surprise, he came face-to-face with a healthy looking old man wearing a leather jacket, khaki pants, and combat boots.  "Hola.  May I help you, man?" the old man inquired in English.  "The name's Bernie."

Dussel was at a loss for words.  This was not what he had expected.  "Uh ...my name is Dussel von Dusseldorf, from Dusseldorf," he said in heavily accented English.  "I was wondering how to get to Louie's School of Elvis Impersonation.  Have you an idea?"

"Louie's, huh?  Well, it's too late to start going there now.  It takes a couple of hours to get there.   It'll be dark soon.  Why don't you come on in and relax?  You can crash here for the night.  I'll take you up to the school tomorrow, if you like."

"Yes sir, thank you," Dussel said.  "You are most gracious."

"No problem, man.  The more the merrier, right Ben?"  The old man addressed the last statement to a person that had just come in from the kitchen.  Ben smiled.  Ben was a slightly heavy-set youth with dark brown hair.

"Right, Bernie.  Don't forget to introduce him to Ricardo."

"Introduce me to who?" asked the twenty-something year old man in the “I Love New York” T-shirt, entering from the kitchen.

"Ricardo, this is Dussel.  Dussel, this is Ricardo.   Now we're all introduced, right?"

"Don't forget Llarry," said Ricardo.  Ricardo went back into the kitchen, and then returned, leading something big.  "This," said Ricardo, leading the six-foot tall llama into the living room, "is Llarry."  The llama turned his ears forward in curiosity.    Ricardo turned to face the llama.  "Llarry, this is Dussel."

The llama hummed.

"You have many guests at your home, Bernie," Dussel commented.

"Hey, man, it's like this every summer.  Me and the boys have a little reunion.  We sit around all day, talking, and we do stuff together.  This is the time of year that I take a break from running the airport and herding my llamas.  Why don't we all go back into the kitchen and finish our game of Scrabble?"

The next morning, after a breakfast mainly consisting of jelly doughnuts, everyone climbed into Bernie's car.  Llarry's llama trailer was hitched onto the back, and the llama entered with little prompting.  After making sure that everyone had already gone to the bathroom, the pink Cadillac noisily sped off down the dirt road, raising clouds of dust.

The car rolled through the Peruvian countryside by scenic mountains and valleys.  The radio was, appropriately enough, playing "Blue Suede Shoes."   Dussel had just gotten done listening to Ricardo tell the story of how he had been run over by a bus full of tourists.  Ben had rolled his eyes during the whole thing, having heard the story countless times.

Finally, the car pulled into the driveway at Louie's School of Elvis Impersonation.  Surprisingly, or maybe not, the school had been built to resemble Graceland.  Dussel was ecstatic.  His life-long dream was finally within his grasp!  Dussel unloaded his luggage from Bernie's trunk and bid a fond farewell to his new-found friends.  He promised to visit when he got the chance.

Dussel entered through the double doors into the lobby area.  He stood amazed as he saw dozens of jumpsuit clad students wandering around.  Dussel approached the secretary's desk and was directed to the registrar's office down the hall.  Once inside, Dussel filled out his application and signed liability forms while munching on a jelly doughnut.

Once properly enrolled, Dussel was led to the costume department to get his school uniform.  His measurements were taken and he was soon outfitted with a white sequined jumpsuit with a purple cape and a gold belt buckle, and a pair of big tacky white boots.  Now properly attired, Dussel was taken into the school barbershop to get his hair cut into an appropriate Elvis style haircut, complete with sideburns.

Dussel was then shown to his dorm room.  It rather resembled the Jungle Room in the real Graceland, except, of course, that it was much smaller.  Sitting on one of the beds was Dussel's new roommate. "Hallo.
My name is Dussel. This is a really groovy room, ya?"

"Ya, it's really cool.  Ma name's Vinny."  Vinny was a scrawny looking Italian, who was naturally wearing the school uniform.  "I'm trying to get my degree in Elvisology,"  Vinny said with a strong Italian accent.

"Ya," said Dussel.  "Or else you would not be here."  Dussel held out his hand to Vinny.  "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," said Vinny.

Dussel soon  fell into a regular routine of classes.   He had "Heartbreak Hotel" 101, followed by "Hound Dog" and "Blue Suede Shoes" classes.  In each class, Dussel was expected to learn the lyrics to the song, the melody, and how to gyrate his hips while he sang the song.  Dussel almost failed the final exam in the "Elvis Comeback Special" class when he forgot to take a handkerchief from an audience member, wipe his forehead with it, and then return it.  Despite that, soon Dussel knew how to mimic Elvis in every way.

After 3 years of extensive study of Elvis Impersonation, Dussel was ready to graduate.  It had taken him his life savings and a lot of grueling effort, but Dussel was satisfied.  Graduation went well.  When Dussel received his diploma, he said, "Thank you very much."  Then he shook Dean Louie's hand and exited the stage.  Dussel was pleased to see Ben, Llarry, Ricardo, and Bernie all cheering him on in the audience.

At the end of the ceremony, all of the Elvis graduates removed their caps and gowns and went back on the stage.  Dussel and 30 other impersonators, including Vinny, began a show stopping number when they all synchronously sang "Suspicious Minds" complete with gestures and hankies.

Dussel left Extremely Remote Location in the back of Bernie's Cadillac.  He bid a fond farewell to everyone at the airport, and returned to Dusseldorf.   Dussel became a hot item at parties.

It was a dream come true.