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Jenny was in the mood for a blue raspberry
slushy and she had some money to burn, so she walked over to the local
7-Eleven. She walked in, and got her slushy. While she was
waiting to pay, she saw someone coming her way out of the corner of her
eye. She took her change from the clerk behind the counter, turned
around, and saw an Elvis impersonator.
"Pardon me , ma'am, but I have a proposition
for you," said the Elvis look-alike.
Jenny was reluctant to speak to him.
Her mother had warned her not to speak to strangers, and this guy certainly
was strange. "What kind of a proposition?" she cautiously asked,
heading towards the door. She hoped that he wasn't offering her a
job as an Elvis impersonator.
The Elvis followed her. "Well you
see, ma'am, I'm Elvis Presley. Maybe you've heard of me?"
Jenny rolled her eyes. "Of course
I've heard of Elvis. And you can't be Elvis. You're just an
impersonator"
The Elvis shook his head. "No ma'am,
I'm the original. It's a long story. You won't believe me until
I show you the proof. If you'll follow me, ma'am, I'll explain everything."
Jenny was curious, so against her better
judgment, she followed the Elvis into the deserted parking lot. Jenny's
jaw dropped when she saw what was in the parking lot. It was what
appeared to be a spaceship - it couldn't be called a flying saucer, since
it was stationary on the ground at the time. As she watched, a portal
opened in the side of the saucer. A ramp extended, and a creature
stepped out of the ship. The creature looked eerily like the Elvis
standing next to her, with subtle differences. Jenny stood still
in shock, while the Elvis began to speak.
"You see, ma'am, these aliens are called
the Elvi. They accidentally abducted me around the time of my supposed
'death'. They mistook me for one of their own."
Jenny tried to absorb what she was seeing
and what she was being told. "And where do I fit into all of this?"
"Well, ma'am, they need someone to cook
for them. I'm a horrible cook, I'm ashamed to admit, so we needed
to find someone else. It's not a hard job, really. Basically,
all they eat is toast."
"Why me?"
"Well, frankly, ma'am, you're a suitable
person in a deserted area. Key target, really. Don't worry
though, ma'am. The Elvi are harmless."
Jenny contemplated their proposition.
She couldn't say that she'd ever considered a career in the culinary arts,
especially not one involving working in outer space. It was just
so bizarre! Abruptly she realized that she could probably make a
lot of money off of this, assuming that she could get pictures, by selling
her story to the tabloids. She didn't have anything better to do...
"I guess I'll take you up on your offer, assuming that I'll be allowed
to go home and fetch some things." Like her camera.
"I think that that can be arranged," said
Elvis.
"By the way, if you're really the original
Elvis, why have you been spotted at all of these remote gas stations and
such?"
"Well, ma'am, we have to restock on bread
and such every now and then, and a remote location is preferable.
We're pretty sure that if anyone saw us, no one would believe it."
Hence why Jenny needed her camera.
"Okay. So, if you'll pardon me, I'll just run home and get my stuff.
I'll be back in like a half an hour, okay?"
Jenny, her stuffed giraffe, her camera,
and some other assorted personal belongings entered the UFO a half hour
later. She was greeted by a group of the Elvi and the King.
The Elvi showed her to her small quarters, where she deposited her belongings.
Next, the Elvi insisted on giving Jenny the grand tour of the ship.
It was actually quite a bit larger on the interior of the ship than it
appeared on the outside. It came complete with a control room, quarters,
and a combination rec room/barber shop.
Then Jenny was taken to the kitchen.
She was somewhat disappointed. She had expected a spaceship to have
a kitchen that was extremely high tech. On the shiny countertop,
there were several ordinary looking toasters. There was also a shiny
refrigerator, inside of which there were numerous loaves of bread, of every
variety, along with various toppings, many of which normally do not go
on toast. The decor of the kitchen definitely left something to be
desired - the cotton candy pink and neon green checkerboard linoleum clashed
horribly with the orange and red striped wallpaper.
Soon Jenny was put to work. One of
the Elvi requested a slice of olive loaf toast with grape jelly and anchovies.
Jenny suppressed a shudder and went to work. For the next five hours,
Jenny did nothing but make toast.
Later that night, Jenny was allowed to
relax. In the rec room/barber shop, the Elvi and the King were playing
a friendly game of poker. Jenny was asked to join them. Jenny
won a lot of money, but unfortunately it was in an alien currency that
would be pretty worthless on Earth.
After sleeping overnight on a slab of granite
with Styrofoam bedding, Jenny awoke and got ready to go to work.
Jenny continued her service with the Elvi
for several months. Every day was a lot like the last. Jenny
was bored with her job. Maybe realizing this, Elvis allowed her to
take a vacation. Before departing the ship, Jenny took many pictures
of the aliens and Elvis. Jenny waved good-bye to her employers as
their ship lifted off.
Of course, Jenny didn't really want to
go back to the Elvi. She couldn't put her life on hold forever in
order to cook for a bunch of aliens. She wondered what everyone thought
of her disappearance. Jenny knew she'd probably been fired from her
data processing job. Her friends probably thought she was dead.
Jenny shrugged to herself and started walking to her home. Fortunately,
it hadn't been sold off or rented out in her absence. The newspapers
and mail had piled up, however.
Jenny decided that she wouldn't be there
when the Elvi returned for her. She rented a moving van and went
to a large city - one so populous that the Elvi could never land there.
She started a new life with a new name. The pictures and her story
that she sold to the tabloids provided for her needs for the time that
it took to put her life back in order.
Sometimes Jenny wondered what had happened
when the Elvi had returned for her. Elvis was probably cooking for
the Elvi now. The next person that they found to fill her position
probably wouldn't be allowed to leave.
Jenny didn't care. But she did avoid
7-Elevens for a long time afterwards.
The End
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