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Jenny, Elvis, and 7-Eleven


Jenny was in the mood for a blue raspberry slushy and she had some money to burn, so she walked over to the local 7-Eleven.  She walked in, and got her slushy.  While she was waiting to pay, she saw someone coming her way out of the corner of her eye.  She took her change from the clerk behind the counter, turned around, and saw an Elvis impersonator.

"Pardon me , ma'am, but I have a proposition for you," said the Elvis look-alike.

Jenny was reluctant to speak to him.  Her mother had warned her not to speak to strangers, and this guy certainly was strange.  "What kind of a proposition?" she cautiously asked, heading towards the door.  She hoped that he wasn't offering her a job as an Elvis impersonator.

The Elvis followed her.  "Well you see, ma'am, I'm Elvis Presley.  Maybe you've heard of me?"

Jenny rolled her eyes.  "Of course I've heard of Elvis.  And you can't be Elvis.  You're just an impersonator"

The Elvis shook his head.  "No ma'am, I'm the original.  It's a long story.  You won't believe me until I show you the proof.  If you'll follow me, ma'am, I'll explain everything."

Jenny was curious, so against her better judgment, she followed the Elvis into the deserted parking lot.  Jenny's jaw dropped when she saw what was in the parking lot.  It was what appeared to be a spaceship - it couldn't be called a flying saucer, since it was stationary on the ground at the time.  As she watched, a portal opened in the side of the saucer.  A ramp extended, and a creature stepped out of the ship.  The creature looked eerily like the Elvis standing next to her, with subtle differences.  Jenny stood still in shock, while the Elvis began to speak.

"You see, ma'am, these aliens are called the Elvi.  They accidentally abducted me around the time of my supposed 'death'.  They mistook me for one of their own."

Jenny tried to absorb what she was seeing and what she was being told.  "And where do I fit into all of this?"

"Well, ma'am, they need someone to cook for them.  I'm a horrible cook, I'm ashamed to admit, so we needed to find someone else.  It's not a hard job, really.  Basically, all they eat is toast."

"Why me?"

"Well, frankly, ma'am, you're a suitable person in a deserted area.  Key target, really.  Don't worry though, ma'am.  The Elvi are harmless."

Jenny contemplated their proposition.  She couldn't say that she'd ever considered a career in the culinary arts, especially not one involving working in outer space.  It was just so bizarre!  Abruptly she realized that she could probably make a lot of money off of this, assuming that she could get pictures, by selling her story to the tabloids.  She didn't have anything better to do...  "I guess I'll take you up on your offer, assuming that I'll be allowed to go home and fetch some things."  Like her camera.

"I think that that can be arranged," said Elvis.

"By the way, if you're really the original Elvis, why have you been spotted at all of these remote gas stations and such?"

"Well, ma'am, we have to restock on bread and such every now and then, and a remote location is preferable.  We're pretty sure that if anyone saw us, no one would believe it."

Hence why Jenny needed her camera.  "Okay.  So, if you'll pardon me, I'll just run home and get my stuff.  I'll be back in like a half an hour, okay?"


Jenny, her stuffed giraffe, her camera, and some other assorted personal belongings entered the UFO a half hour later.  She was greeted by a group of the Elvi and the King.  The Elvi showed her to her small quarters, where she deposited her belongings.  Next, the Elvi insisted on giving Jenny the grand tour of the ship.  It was actually quite a bit larger on the interior of the ship than it appeared on the outside.  It came complete with a control room, quarters, and a combination rec room/barber shop.

Then Jenny was taken to the kitchen.  She was somewhat disappointed.  She had expected a spaceship to have a kitchen that was extremely high tech.  On the shiny countertop, there were several ordinary looking toasters.  There was also a shiny refrigerator, inside of which there were numerous loaves of bread, of every variety, along with various toppings, many of which normally do not go on toast.  The decor of the kitchen definitely left something to be desired - the cotton candy pink and neon green checkerboard linoleum clashed horribly with the orange and red striped wallpaper.

Soon Jenny was put to work.  One of the Elvi requested a slice of olive loaf toast with grape jelly and anchovies.  Jenny suppressed a shudder and went to work.  For the next five hours, Jenny did nothing but make toast.

Later that night, Jenny was allowed to relax.  In the rec room/barber shop, the Elvi and the King were playing a friendly game of poker.  Jenny was asked to join them.  Jenny won a lot of money, but unfortunately it was in an alien currency that would be pretty worthless on Earth.

After sleeping overnight on a slab of granite with Styrofoam bedding, Jenny awoke and got ready to go to work.
 


Jenny continued her service with the Elvi for several months.  Every day was a lot like the last.  Jenny was bored with her job.  Maybe realizing this, Elvis allowed her to take a vacation.  Before departing the ship, Jenny took many pictures of the aliens and Elvis.  Jenny waved good-bye to her employers as their ship lifted off.

Of course, Jenny didn't really want to go back to the Elvi.  She couldn't put her life on hold forever in order to cook for a bunch of aliens.  She wondered what everyone thought of her disappearance.  Jenny knew she'd probably been fired from her data processing job.  Her friends probably thought she was dead.  Jenny shrugged to herself and started walking to her home.  Fortunately, it hadn't been sold off or rented out in her absence.  The newspapers and mail had piled up, however.

Jenny decided that she wouldn't be there when the Elvi returned for her.  She rented a moving van and went to a large city - one so populous that the Elvi could never land there.  She started a new life with a new name.  The pictures and her story that she sold to the tabloids provided for her needs for the time that it took to put her life back in order.

Sometimes Jenny wondered what had happened when the Elvi had returned for her.  Elvis was probably cooking for the Elvi now.  The next person that they found to fill her position probably wouldn't be allowed to leave.

Jenny didn't care.  But she did avoid 7-Elevens for a long time afterwards.

 

The End

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